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"Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for the government of any other." --John Adams

No shoes. No shirt. No service.

It's a funny thing how laws polarize people. It's also remarkable how laws cut to the right, to the left and every other way.

I continue to have great respect for the idea that "law is an instrument of force" and that because of this limited laws or limited government is far better for our country than overly ambitious law makers. The recent uproar over religious protection laws bring to mind the old store sign that says, "No shirt. No shoes. No service". In this country it used to be widely accepted that store owners had the ability to decide who they could serve and who they would not serve. This idea is clearly under challenge today... and please don't jump quickly to the idea of race and discrimination. I'm not suggesting store owners should decide which customers they serve based on the color of their skin... stick with me on the topic of behavior. Not race. Not religion. Not gender. Not even age...well, actually I'll touch on age...


"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters." --Benjamin Franklin

My wife is the cause of global warming - uhhm, climate change

Recently I was sitting at a spring training baseball game between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Chicago White Sox. It was late in the afternoon and about 90 degrees outside. We were sitting in the direct sun light. I knew my wife was feeling the heat, so I turned to her and said, "You are the cause of global warming. You may think it's the sun, but it's not, it's you – you are the cause of global warming…and by the way, I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine in the flat earth society." lol

Now, that may not be an exact quote, but it's pretty close.

You are the cause of global warming. Yep, science wants you and me to believe this statement is completely accurate.

I for one don't believe them. But, you might say, don't you believe in climate change? Why yes, of course I do. I can go outside every morning and every night and see that the climate has changed. The sun goes up and the sun goes down. The moon waxes full and moon waxes slim.

Every time a tornado cuts its ugly swath through Oklahoma or Missouri, I can see the climate change. When the snows fall down on the Arizona mountains, I see the climate change. When a a haboob rolls across the Phoenix valley I see the climate change. And when a thunderstorm or snowstorm moves across the northeast, yep, I see the climate change.

There is no question, climate change is real. It happens every day and all year long. Anyone can see that.

But… that's not what science is talking about when they say "you are the cause of global warming." Oh, wait, let me change that to the newer, more saavy term, "climate change."

You see, I am more inclined to believe that the sun is responsible for global warming or climate change, more so than you, or me or my wife.

Science tells us that the earth is round and it sits on an axis. They tell us the earth orbits around the sun. They tell us the tides move with the rising and setting of the moon. They promote the big bang theory and declare that the universe was set in motion, billions upon billions of years ago and that the probabilities of accident and chaos created this earth in such a way that we all live here peacefully and successfully rotating around the sun in perfect existence….

And now they want us to believe that "you are the cause of global warming."

Years ago, in the early days of my career as a direct marketer I was taught a little bit about statistical probability and response rates. I was told that if I would isolate the variables in our marketing campaigns that we would have a much higher probability of obtaining correct, predictable, and reliable results. But if I inserted too many variables, then it would be impossible to read the results and draw reliable correct conclusions.

I have found this to be accurate. If I try and test price and color and offer and product and time of day and media channel and gender and title and size of company and age and time of day and… you get the picture, it's really difficult to figure out what moved the response rate from ½ of 1% to 9/10ths of 1% when a dozen variables have been changed.

And of course let's not forget that I need to have a statistically valid sample in order to test the variables against a control group that does not change.

Hmmm….are you seeing the same problem I'm seeing with the current statements on "you are the cause of global warming?"

We only have one earth. Where are its cohorts? Or where is the control group? For that matter, where is the statistically valid sample of like minded planets (e.g. earths) that we are testing our global warming theories against?

Ok, I'm sorry, let's just set that aside and ignore the fact that no control group exists. There are no cohorts to mother earth and we do not have a statistically valid sample that we can measure against for a statistically valid time frame. Ok, good, I'm glad we've settled that one and can set it aside.

I'd like to propose a couple of solutions to our global warming, uhmm, climate change problem. Now granted, these are theories, but certainly we can test them to see if they will work. After all, we can stop the big bang from progressing in its billions of years old patterns while we solve our global climate change problem…can't we?

So here's my first theory to test:

I'm of the opinion that whatever the sun does to hold the earth in its rotation, at the proper distance has somehow gotten broken. Oops, I'm sorry, but I've introduced two variables, or is it three? The speed at which the earth rotates around the sun; the distance from the sun at which the earth is rotating; and the speed at which the earth is spinning on its axis. Three variables. Okay three tests. I need another earth to test against so I can test my theory that the earth has somehow slipped too close to the sun in its rotation. It's only 1 degree closer. But I am certain that moving the earth one degree closer is the cause of all this global warming and climate change.

So, I'd like to suggest that we get all the people on earth to fly to China and on the appointed day, we will all jump up and down at the same time, in unison, in order to move the earth back to its proper and correct position in the rotation.

Good, now, here's my second theory to test:

I'd like to suggest that we have too many people on the planet. They consume too much gasoline. They eat too much food. They breed animals that create tons of manure and flatulate and simply cause all kinds of problems with the atmosphere. And worst of all – they require all that water in order to survive.

Perhaps if we just get rid of two or three billion of them, the global warming…ummm, climate change problem will be fixed.

Can we just test that theory out? I'm sure those two or three billion people won't mind. I'm not sure where they'll go, but surely we can find someplace to put them, so they are no longer making the earth too warm and causing all those terrible storms.

Do I sound like a lunatic yet? Probably. But perhaps no more so than the scientists and politicians that say, "you are the cause of global warming… uhmm – climate change."

Clearly I'm speaking of things that I do not understand. May I suggest that perhaps scientists and politicians are doing the same and that we should leave the problem of global warming, uhmm climate change to those that created the earth, the sun and the solar system.

I'm sure, that whoever controls the sun, will have a solution to our problem of global warming… and that whoever controls the climate will have a solution to global climate change. I just hope they let us hang out long enough to understand the why and the how of how it all works.

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